Don't know why I'm writing about this - our season is over, we couldn't stop Manure and I didn't manage to catch the highlights on Match of the Day.

Did consider looking for a rock to climb under to avoid listening to the pain and agony. Common sense got the better of me, and I listened during lunch. (Before going to church for our new vicar's licensing - yes, I did take a radio with me)

Not that any of it matters this season. Hopefully next season, Van Persie will have either sharpened up or buggered off, we'd have found a decent central midfield partner for Cesc and Theo will have perfected the art of scoring as well as burning up grass with his speed.

Oh, there's one more game isn't there!?